ARMANDO
HOYOS
A philosophical mastermind and a prodigious inventor, Mr. Hoyos started showing signs of his brilliant mind at an early age. Always an intellectual overachiever, he learned how to read at the age of two and by age three he had already had his middle age crisis. His career as an inventor started when at age four he created a line of building blocks for schizoid kids called Alter-Lego.
In his first book, My Unauthorized Autobiography, he recaps his most famous philosophical conundrums such as “If all bonds are supposed to mature… why does James Bond always look the same age?” This book is also a compendium of his most famous dictums, and it can also be read in digital format, heard in audio book format, or ingested orally through his brand line of smart popsicles called Suck My Dictum TM. His second book, the Dictionary of the Royal Epidemic of the Spanish Language, consists of a glossary of different colloquial terms and definitions with the intention of making the easier to assimulate.
Assimulate, to: n. The process of placing implants in one’s posterior side in order to sham the presence of actual buttocks. Assimulate.
His catch phrase:
Shut up! Don’t interrupt me! |
